A Psychologist’s Guide for Parents
As summer begins to wind down and the first day of school approaches, many students experience a mix of excitement and apprehension. While some children eagerly anticipate reuniting with friends and jumping back into routine, others may feel a growing sense of worry. Back-to-school anxiety is incredibly common. Every parent wants to learn how to help kids with school anxiety but your role in helping your child manage those nerves is more powerful than you may realize.
Understanding Back-to-School Anxiety in Children
For many children, returning to school means facing the unknown: new teachers, different classmates, an increase in academic difficulty, or even just an adjustment period after a relaxed summer schedule. These transitions can trigger some big nerves and different reactions depending on the age and temperament of your child.
In younger children, separation anxiety might resurface. For older kids, social pressures or academic performance fears might be more prevalent. As parents it’s important for us to recognize where our child’s anxiety might stem from, so that we may have better conversations with them about it.
It’s also important to know that anxiety isn’t necessarily always a bad thing. It’s our brain’s way of preparing us for challenges. But when those feelings become persistent, or overwhelming, they can interfere with a child’s ability to learn, socialize, or feel safe at school.
How Parents Can Help
There are many evidence-informed ways to support children through this big adjustment time. Let’s walk through a few.
Normalize their feelings. Let your kids know that it’s common and even expected for children to feel anxious when returning to class or starting something new. Find a point of relatability and express a time when you’ve felt nervous during a transition too. Letting them know that their feelings aren’t abnormal goes a long way.
Adjust Schedules Early. Shifting bedtimes, mealtimes and morning routines one to two weeks before school begins can make a world of difference. It makes the adjustment less distinct subconsciously and not as hard on their bodies if they’ve gotten used to sleeping in later throughout their break. Predictability can be very comforting to an anxious brain and helps to ease that school anxiety for kids of all ages.
Introduce the Transition. If possible, and if needed, drive by or tour the school before classes start up. Contact the teacher and see if they’d be willing to meet before that first class, or if they can give an idea of what a day in the classroom looks like. For our teenagers, getting the syllabus to the class before the first day can help them understand what major assignments to expect and how to prepare for them.
Model Calm Confidence. Children take emotional cues from the adults in their life. Even if you have your own concerns as a parent, try to keep conversation about school light and positive. Focus on what you can control, not what you can’t. Back-to-school shopping can be a fun way to reintroduce school environments and materials, and it’s an opportunity for you and your child to openly chat about things they’re excited about and things they’re not.
When to Seek Further Support
As we discussed earlier, back to school anxiety is normal and common among students of all ages. That being said, most of those jitters typically fade within a few weeks as students start to settle into their new routines.
If you notice that your child’s anxiety is interfering with their everyday life, lasts longer than expected, or actually worsens with time, it may be time to consult a mental health professional. Early support can make a big difference in helping children build healthy coping mechanisms in and out of the classroom.
To Conclude…
Back-to-school season is a time of transition for the whole family. By staying present, validating your child’s emotions, and offering steady guidance, you can turn this stressful time into a powerful opportunity for growth and trust-building between you and your child. Remember, you don’t have to have all the answers. Just showing up with empathy and encouragement is enough to make a world of difference.
If you have concerns about your child’s anxiety, don’t hesitate to reach out. A child psychologist here at Orange County Health Psychologists can help you navigate this journey and provide personalized child psychologist tips to help ease the transition tailored to your family’s needs.