What on Earth Is Self-Care? (Hint: It’s Not Just Bubble Baths)

When many of us hear the term “self-care,” we instantly picture bubble baths, face masks, and soothing candles. While there’s nothing wrong with enjoying those things, this image of self-care has become so narrow and commercialized that many people just don’t relate to that depiction. What if you can’t tolerate strong scented candles? What if you don’t even have a bathtub in your home? Does that mean you’re excluded from self-care altogether? No, not at all. It just means exploring your own unique self-care needs and learning how to meet them through regular self-care practices.

So Where Did the Bubble Bath Idea Come From?

The modern concept of self-care has been heavily influenced by marketing and social media. It’s been packaged and sold as something indulgent or luxurious. While these moments can absolutely be restorative for some people, self-care isn’t about products, or how much money you can spend on yourself– it’s about needs.

True self-care isn’t what looks good in a picture. It’s what feels good in your body, your mind, and your life. It’s maintenance. It’s tuning into yourself. And often, it’s quiet, messy, or entirely unglamorous, so let’s rethink what self-care can be.

Types of Self Care

Self-care is anything you intentionally do to support your own well-being. That includes physical, emotional, mental, and even social or spiritual needs. So, let’s discuss a few ways self-care can show up in everyday life for each of those types of needs.

Physically, we can think about are we getting enough sleep? Are we eating nourishing meals? Maybe taking a few extra minutes to stretch in the morning or having a real breakfast rather than a cup of coffee and some trail mix could make a world of difference in our day. To some people, exercising makes them feel good; to others, skipping one workout a week does. We have to ask what our own care may look like.

Emotionally, some people really enjoy talking to a therapist or a trusted friend. When talking to a person feels too vulnerable, people often enjoy journaling instead. When it comes to emotional self-care strategies, the important thing is simply to let yourself have those emotions and to express them in some form without judgement. 

Mentally we need to normalize taking breaks. And, again, a break can look really different for each of us. Some people enjoy reading for pleasure. We can try unplugging from social media because as ‘relaxing’ as doomscrolling on TikTok may feel, our mind is never truly resting when we’re absorbing that much content. We’re reacting, comparing and flooding our eyes with more screentime and subtle stress responses. When we unplug from that entirely, we are truly letting our nervous system rest. We are giving our mind room to breathe by stopping the excessive input. Additionally, investing time in a creative project without deadlines or pressures on when to complete it may serve as mental rest, as well. Participate in something simply because you enjoy doing so. 

Socially, we may say “yes” to meaningful connections or say “no” to over-commitment. Some individuals get energized by being around others and some may become drained in social settings. Ask yourself where you fall on that spectrum and plan accordingly. Plan a lunch with your coworkers between meetings, or catch up with an old friend on the weekend. On the other hand, if you have to cancel a social appearance because you need social recovery time, that’s okay, too. Our social batteries aren’t always going to be fully charged.

Spiritually, there is a lot to discover in taking care of ourselves in this aspect. From spending time in nature, practicing mindfulness, or connecting with your values or religious faith if you identify with that, our spiritual self-care can give us a strong sense of peace and relaxation. Nature specifically has a lot to offer and has proven to be a healthy source of regenerative energy. Take an evening walk or just crack open your window and let some fresh air into your space. These are forms of self-care you can practice without spending money. There are many meditation methods or relaxing spiritual rituals to learn from, and you can decide which ones feel the best to you.

Self-care isn’t right or wrong, it’s entirely and uniquely yours.

Discovering Your Own Version of Self-Care

Instead of adopting someone else’s idea of self-care, consider exploring what works for you. What helps you feel restored or calm when you’re stressed? What kinds of activities drain your energy, and how can you protect yourself from them? When was the last time you felt truly rested? What contributed to that? How do you recognize when you need to pause or recharge?

These are just a few of many reflective questions that can contribute to you finding the self-care style that works for you and your lifestyle. By asking reflective questions, you begin to map out a style of self-care that feels realistic and resonates with your life, not just your ideals. Redefining self-care means looking past what works for others and tuning into what’s right for you.

Making Self-Care Doable 

Self-care doesn’t have to be a major time investment or a perfectly curated routine. Let’s face it— life doesn’t always make room for hour-long yoga sessions or perfectly planned mornings. Realistic self-care ideas might be as simple as doing the dishes because a clean space helps you think or going to bed early, even if you haven’t “finished everything.” It’s not about doing it all. It’s about doing enough to feel like you’re showing up for yourself.

In the end, we don’t need a bathtub, a wellness subscription, or a perfectly peaceful morning routine to practice self-care. We simply need to ask ourselves:

 “What do I need today and how can I give myself even a little of it?”

That’s self-care.

We welcome Hannah Le-Schroeder, Jonathan Lee, and Rachel Gray to Orange County Health Psychologists. They are ready to assist you with setting goals and making desired changes in your life for optimal physical, mental, and spiritual health. Feel free to view our website’s complete provider panel to find alternative providers you think might help you navigate changes with compassion and expertise.